Recently I pondered the question, "To be or not to be?" Not necessarily Shakespeare's meaning, which has to do with to live or not to live, but something even deeper.
Purpose in Life
For a good part of my life, I have tried to live purposefully. What I mean is -- it is important for me to live with purpose and fulfill the reason I have come here. Yes, I do believe we incarnate with self-created goals we strive to accomplish while we are living. These objectives create our purpose in life. About 20 years ago, I woke up with an overwhelming fear that I wasn't doing what I was supposed to be doing while I was here. This angst grew with every passing day. I felt like I was missing the boat, and I feared that I would die someday only to face myself, and be disappointed that I had failed at what I had set out to accomplish. I often refer to this period as the beginning of my spiritual journey, and since then I have learned that when I live purposefully (taking on my life purpose), my life is joyful. I also learned that when I am working on my mission in life those purpose-related goals become guided by Spirit.
One thing that has assisted me on my journey has been recognizing and understanding the signs the Universe sends me. I share this process in my book, Lifesigns: Tapping the Power of Synchronicity, Serendipity, and Miracles. These guideposts provide me a means to make decisions about anything in life, like relationships, investments, business, even my purpose in life.
This year the signs (I should say the Universe), encouraged me to put a book project on hold. I found this messaging very confusing and disappointing. I moved forward in trust, knowing that I was not meant to be working on this project at this time, anticipating that I will return to it when the time is right.
Since then though, many questions about my purpose have been raised. Over the last few months, I began a new process to search within for answers. I missed the joy I feel when I am purposeful. I wanted clarity on whether writing this book (or any book) was purposeful and something I should be doing. What I have come to realize is that while we come into this life with missions to accomplish while we are here, there is one fundamental purpose we cannot ignore...and I had.
To Be or Not to Be
In my normal mode of operation, being goal driven, I had forgotten something very simple. As Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once said, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." In my task-driven desire to get er done (my reason for being here), I had failed. A fundamental purpose we all have is to BE. Please excuse the clichés, we are here to smell the roses, to be present and live at the moment. We are here to experience what it is to be human. We are here to live at our own free will, to search for Truth, experience challenges and triumphs, be of service, love and be loved. These are all human being attributes. When we are so focused on accomplishing what we are here to do, we fail at being.
After I had pondered these insights, I decided to do a Lifesigns exercise, and I asked the Universe, "What is my purpose in life?" I even wondered what signs the Universe would send me assuming the answer was "to be." The first thing I thought of was a bumble bee. I even thought, 'How ridiculous that'd be,' given that it was December in Colorado.
On Christmas morning, my partner asked me, "What do you have on your sweater?"
Can you imagine my surprise when I looked down to see a bumble bee badge adhered to my sweater? My son later told me he had stuck the bumble bee to my sweater, somehow knowing that he was supposed to do so.
New Year's Resolutions
Since its New Year's Day, I usually set some goals for the year. This year, I will be kinder to myself and know that this year I will practice being as opposed to doing.
I wish you a powerful, joyous and healing 2015.